To be, or NOT to be!

I realize that in my last blog, I was VERY upset. The problem was I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried, figure out WHY. What was at the very core of the anger. In discussing it with a friend, we went thru the list. I decided that my problem wasn't jealousy, but rather a feeling of being unsettled. What am I missing? What do I lack? What is it that makes her more than me? Going thru the checklist of things that might possibly be comparable, I realized that the ONLY thing she has that I don't, is confidence. NOT independence. So. What is it that makes people confident? Is it possible to PRETEND to be confident until you're proven right? I think so. I've asked a few people, and they've all said the same thing. Even if someone weren't all that attractive physically, if they were confident, it could make them attractive. If someone were GORGEOUS, and lacked confidence, it could make them not attractive. My saying that I lack confidence, doesn't mean that I don't have any. It just means that I don't show it as often as I could/should.

Now that I know that I need confidence, I need to figure out how to put it into actions. I remember a time in my life when I was totally confident. I remember what I was thinking and how I acted. That is what I think needs to happen. There is a thin line between confident and conceited. Something which I LOATHE. It may be a bumpy, awkward ride, but I'm on my way. From not caring whether someone is watching me dance in my car, to taking what I want like I had a right to it. ;)