All of a Sudden!

SO, not much to say lately. Until last night. NOW all of a sudden, I have all KINDS of things to rant and freak out about (we all knew it was too good to last).

So. I've written about it here before, but it's all coming together finally. I talked to my friend, Jill about how irritated I was about the whole situation (you know.. the chic that I can't stand.. we'll call her Eris for now. So, Jill knows the whole situation with Eris and Jems. She agrees. She says, though, that I need to tell him that I'm ready for a relationship, if that's what I want, cause she knows "for a fact" that he wants to be with me, but that he's waiting until I am ready. Doesn't want to rush me. So, I decide to make it PAINFULLY obvious. In talking to him about Eris, I say "The thing that irritates me as a friend is how she treated you, and still thinks she has rights with you. The thing that irritates me as 'someone who wants nothing more than to be with you' is that it makes me jealous that she can hang all over you, and I can't. She had her chance, and didn't want it. Someone of us want it, but won't ever get it." NOW.. If that isn't obvious, then guys really are all stupid and I'm gonna stop defending them all!

So that is fine, he says there isn't anything to be jealous about and that there is no way in hell he'd ever go back to her even IF she wanted to be with him. So now the real problem. I'm SO afraid that the reason we aren't together doesn't have anything to do with him not being sure about whether or not I'm ready. I'm afraid it has to do with my weight. NOW. Before you roll your eyes. Hear me out. I realize that someone that shallow isn't someone I would want to be with in the first place. Also, I know he isn't that shallow. BUT it's enough to make me freak out. I don't want to even have to calm myself down about this kinda stuff. I'm taking one day at a time and making each day count. Jamie freaking ROCKS, and she's getting a membership for the wedding.. We're gonna look like freaking superstars and I've decided to finally let my hair grow out again.

Meanwhile, my mom is irritating the hell outta me, cause she's been freaking out about things lately. Good grief. It's SUPPOSED to be a time of peace, love and joy. Now I know why people started reminding everyone of this by saying, "MERRY Christmas and HAPPY holidays". Guess they realized most of us need reminders! Either way.. Have a great Thursday in case I don't talk to you tomorrow! Love you all!!