The End of and Era

It's the end of an era. An extremely SHORT era, but an era nonetheless. Things have settled down. I know I've said it before, but the results of my efforts have so immensely paid off that I have to say it again. I'm so proud of myself. An extremely conceited thing to say admittedly. This week I've gone to the gym (or walked at home) regularly. I've disposed of the excess drama in my life and so far I haven't really missed them. I've been spending more time with the people who love me and support me. No strings attached. The numbers are smaller, but the reward is indescribable.

I think my relationship with J is changing. Still, it is what it is. It's the best way to describe it. I've never been in a friendship quite like this. I think the best way to describe it is that we're SO content being friends that we don't wonder or worry or push anything. It never has to be discussed. It just flows. We understand each other without really having to vocalize, but when vocalization is what is needed, it's crystal clear with no embarrassment or fear or pain. Said and done. It's very relaxing. Both of us have been pained in some way, and neither of us is willing to let it happen again. Rushing into ANY kind of relationship (whether it be friends or more) is not something that either of us is interested in. We simply enjoy each others' company and feel relaxed and understood. What more can you ask from a friend? It's so comfortable. I've just never been this at ease with anyone before. It's strange. My head tells me that I should be waiting for it all to come crashing down, but I can't find that fear anywhere. It doesn't exist. I'm sure this doesn't make a lot of sense, and I avoid writing things like this (so specifically about someone who some of you know) especially since he doesn't know that I'm writing this blog in the first place. He's just an incredible person and the best friend anyone could hope to have and I feel exceedingly lucky to have him. And I need to give him credit for it.


So the era that has come and go was the crazy era. The time when I explored and found out what was there and what my options were. I've narrowed down my surroundings to the things that are the MOST important to me and the focus has helped me become more functional. On to the grown up Melody. The Melody who knows who she is and what she wants. And has the nerve and the will to get it!