This is the place where I can "let my hair down". My personal journal, being sent into the void! Don't be offended, don't be appauled, just be entertained by the freaky way my head works and try not to hold it against me!!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Courage is so very under rated!


So, what is it when you are scared to death to hug someone, but you're okay with other, more forward, things? What the hell is that? Why is it, that I can't talk to the people that I really like? I'm fine online or while writing, but in person? Are you kidding me? I turn into the worlds largest chicken! I mess my words up, I can't spit things out, I end up sounding like a freakin dee dee dee! ERG! I wanna know WHY I can't be forward. Try to take what I want. Initiate things. Good grief! No one is gonna sit there and wait forever. If I don't do it, will I miss something? I can't read minds, but MAN I wish I could! Frustration is the word for the day. Complete nonsense and utter foolishness. And. In asking the question. I completely mad a fool of myself. If there's no reason to ever be embarrassed, then why do I almost always feel embarrassed? What is that all about?

I suppose the globe will keep spinning, and tomorrow will come. . But I just wish I could figure out how to be the person I want to be. How be the outgoing and brave and confident. Any suggestions?

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